Love is often seen as effortless, but for those of us with disabilities, the journey can be uniquely challenging. As a disabled woman, I’ve learned that love isn’t about physical perfection—it’s about connection, empathy, and standing firm in my principles. I’ve always believed in establishing clear boundaries before entering any relationship, whether friendship or romance. These boundaries have shaped who I am today, and they have helped me navigate the complexities of love and relationships.
From childhood to adulthood, I’ve maintained a policy: I can be sweet, kind, and understanding, but once I sense that someone is taking me for granted, that’s where I draw the line. I have no room for relationships that don’t honor mutual respect. If it’s not working for me anymore, I either quietly withdraw or end it altogether. This has been my approach with friends, romantic partners, and even family. I have a small circle of friends—just eight close ones—but these are people who respect my boundaries and understand my principles. When someone tries to impose their beliefs or become a bully, I start finding my escape route, because my mental well-being is my top priority.
In the context of my marriage, the principle of mutual respect and understanding has been challenged. My husband is aware of my visual impairment and my Hydrocephalus, yet at times, I feel that he doesn’t fully grasp the weight of these challenges. He often perceives my ability to do certain things—like putting on makeup—as an indication that I should be able to handle other tasks, such as tidying up the house. This misunderstanding has been one of my biggest challenges. There are times I feel emotionally and physically drained, and recently, the pressure became so overwhelming that it landed me in the hospital.
I’ve always wanted my relationships to thrive through understanding. I wish for people to see me not just as a woman with a disability, but as someone with a unique set of needs and strengths. In my marriage, I long for a partnership where my husband and I work together, supporting each other through life’s challenges. But instead, I often feel like I’m shouldering the burden alone, and that takes a toll on my mental and physical health.
Romantic relationships have been no different. My first relationship was hostile, with pressure to do things I didn’t want to do. I stood my ground and left, even though it almost led to a dangerous situation. I quickly realized that my principles are non-negotiable. My second relationship seemed promising at first, but when my partner listened to outside opinions instead of trusting me, I knew it was time to let go. And my third relationship ended when I realized we didn’t share the same values. He was looking for something else, and I was waiting for true love—not just external validation.
My fourth relationship was the closest thing to what I thought could work, but outside voices interfered and slowly eroded the bond. I made it clear from the start that I would stand by my principles, but when my partner chose to listen to others rather than me, I let go. Later, he regretted it—realizing that those external influences were never there to build the relationship, but to tear it down.
Navigating relationships with a disability means embracing these unique challenges. Whether it’s relying on assistive tools like my Amigo magnifier or smart cane, or ensuring my needs are understood, I’ve always stayed true to my principles. Relationships require patience, open communication, and the ability to adapt. And it’s these challenges that make love even stronger.
At the heart of every meaningful relationship, love transcends physical abilities. It’s built on trust, understanding, and mutual respect. It’s about learning together, growing together, and supporting each other through life’s obstacles. Love is for everyone, no matter their abilities, and when nurtured with care and respect, it becomes a powerful force that can overcome anything.
Love isn’t about perfection—it’s about staying true to yourself and finding someone who does the same. Embrace your uniqueness, and you’ll find that love can flourish even in the most unexpected ways.
Now, I’d love to hear from you. Have you experienced similar challenges in your relationships, whether due to a disability or personal circumstances? How do you stay true to your values while navigating the ups and downs of love? Share your experiences and thoughts in the comments below—I believe we can all learn from each other and grow together through these conversations.
